Envy McKee

I’ve been pondering this new phrase of mine for several days now– A phrase given to me, courtesy of my daughter’s father. “It is, exactly what you make it.” The two of us, when we were together and whenever we argued–which, by the way, wasn’t really that often–would always end up saying in defeat–”It is, what it is”.     It was our way of adding distance to the situation. It was our way of removing ourselves from emotion, hurt, pain, anguish– anything plaguing the relationship. We would simply wave it all away by saying: “It is what it is.” Saying this was ever more easier than actually investigating what was going on and/or wrong at the time. We were both so arrogant and prideful. We would never admit the hurt existed. It got to the point where we simply stopped talking. Any conversation we had was so steeped in defensiveness and blame, it was actually more constructive not to talk. Either way created the same end result–not a damn thing.     We broke up (for the millionth time) … Continue reading →

Normally when I feel a bit melancholy, it’s because there is something on my spirit that needs to get out. Sometimes the relief of which is as simple as sitting my fast ass down to write it out in poem form or a blog post or whatever comes to mind in my journal.     Since I’ve been dealing with my unique moodiness for the better part of my entire life, I’ve become pretty self aware–particularly when I’m grumpy. Mostly because I am hardly ever grumpy. The only time I’m grumpy is when something is a bit off kilter in me. In fact, I’ve been accused of being the kind of annoying optimist that sees the silver lining of every storm cloud ravaging every town for any reason you can think of. I see good in people, even if there is no good to be found to the naked eye. Even when the storm is in my life. Even when the people who aren’t so good is me.     Because these melancholy flash points happen so few and far … Continue reading →

About 15 seconds ago, I did the unthinkable. I deleted a blog post. Yes, I know. A travesty. Censorship. Who knew the “c” word would rear it’s ugly head in relation to my little irrelevant blog?     Why, Envy Why? You may be asking yourself? Why, because despite my best intentions, I gave in to the psychotic whim of an overprotective husband, allegedly.     Sure, I could have kept the post and let the bulldog do whatever it is he wanted to do. For all intents and purposes, the post in question was a blind item that included no names about vague events that happened in the not so distant past. However, apparently my post was powerful enough (to him) to illicit this man’s full attention to the tune of several suspect “threatening-like” e-mails via facebook, some hollow insults thrown here and there about my media acumen, his name popping up in my inbox in varying degrees from his following me on twitter, to his leaving a weird recommendation of me on my linkdn page.     Now … Continue reading →

  **Sometime in the 90′s** I was just a wee youngin’ when I first met him. He to me was tall, fyyyyyyne as all hell, perfect Roman nose, sported a uni-brow and sang this song called : Nite and Day. He was my dream man. My perpetual ideal. I can’t forget his caramel skin and soft black curly hair. Every other male person in my life was doomed to be superficially compared to this, my first crush, of my middle school years.       I was young, but I knew a fyne man when I saw him.           It was weird by all accounts how I met him. It was summer and my family–mom and pops, Jamie and Tiph and I were squished in the back of my dads seemingly monmouth two tone green Cadillac. We were on our way to Richmond, Virginia for The Hickson family reunion–my mom’s side of the fam.         The ride took forever, but there was hope. Every so often on the radio I got to hear … Continue reading →

Nor does the iPhone have an iSwim application. So if you drop your iPhone in any form of water, it sinks. And then you need to buy a new phone. Should you become completely and irrationally frustrated with your iPhone for any reason that can’t be fixed over the phone or at the Apple store because you didn’t make an appointment 3 days in advance…please don’t do anything rash. Now you know what the title of this post is about.     Actually, this post isn’t really about that either. I have had nothing but good customer service experiences with regard to Apple and my iPhone. It’s AT&T that can suck a fairly large egg that hasn’t been hard boiled.     The title of this post is completely irrelevant. Except for the fact that it was part of the conversation I had with the iPhone specialist I spoke with earlier–Grant. He was totally funny.     Okay so several more of my friends were let go a few days ago en masse at my former place of employment. My … Continue reading →

I recently started working out. I know. I know. I know already!! “What Envy?! You’re already a 4…are you trying to completely disappear?” No!!!!! It’s just that I’ve set my quit date and I need something to replace my vice with. Yes. I smoke. Cloves.         I am one of the very few people I know who literally has only one vice. Well, maybe two. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke weed or do any kind of drugs– I don’t even take asperin–I drink organic, herbal tea. I eat well. I’m active. I’m spiritual. I do yoga. I meditate. I read. I have great energy. I don’t eat junk. I don’t purr over chocolate and I typically stay away from anything and anyone that can be considered bad for me. Except…cloves. Djarum Blacks to be specific.         I would say, I don’t know what it is about them that’s so intoxicating to me, but I know exactly what it is. They’re long and sexy and black from tip to filter. They spell like a … Continue reading →

Ahhhh. The ex. The entire reason why “it’s complicated” is an option on facebook. Exes can make you crazy… or not. The two of you can have an understanding…or not. You can still love the shit out of them but can’t stand to be around them. You can have kids together or wonder why you ever imagined having kids with “that fool”.     Yes, exes are complicated aren’t they? Yet, no matter your experience with your most significant exes, the fact remains…you were at one point together and most likely in love. Yes, there was a reason you were attracted to the past person in your life to begin with. AND there was a reason why they are now your ex. Insert your reason here__________. Okay.     I bring this up because of my kindof recent Youtube find: B. Scott. OMG! If you’ve never heard of B. Scott, you are truly missing out. Yes, he’s androgenous. Yes, he’s quirky and fun and so funny to me. You may not get into him, but I think he’s a gem. … Continue reading →

Okay. First allow me to say I have nothing at all against Steve Harvey. Sometimes he’s funny. Sometimes he makes a lot of sense. Most times, I can’t really listen to him in long drawn out pieces. In the scheme of things, he’s uber successful at all his many endeavors and I appreciate him for that, at least. Do I ever want to see him without his shirt again? Nope. Never. Not even on a bet.     That said, I came across Steve Harvey’s new New York Times Best Seller–relationship advice book “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” at a birthday party I took Aubrei and her cousin Mya to this past weekend.     Mind you, I had heard about the book from one of my FB friends, and of course, I rolled my eyes like: “Steve Harvey. Author. Whateeeeeever.” What?! My initial reaction was honest enough.     I do not look to Steve Harvey for fashion advice, unless I’m in the market for an electric blue suit. I do not look to Steve Harvey … Continue reading →

OMG! I was doing my Friday ritual. I was getting my nails done at my regular spot. I walk in. Everybody knows me. I give hugs, I pick out my nail color ( I chose a gorgeous, springy yellow this time instead of my normal black, dark brown or dark blue) I sit down in the pedi spa chair thingy and I’m chillin. I fumble with the massager. I start thumbing through the newest Real Simple magazine, when IT happens.   Some very, very, very–dare I say– Ghettoi chica starts screaming at my manicurist, Holly (totally not her given name). Holly is the sweetest, nicest, does my nails the bangin’-est, little person you ever want to meet. So for me to witness this travesty!–hold on, let me calm down a bit.   It turns out, there was a young, uh…lady (I use the term loosely) who was also getting her nails done. According to Holly this chic changed her nail color on her fingers and her toes like 5 times. Sweet, patient Holly, just kept redoing them without question. So … Continue reading →

Most people who say this out loud in front of other people are considered big gi-nor-mous assholes. In fact, when you first read the title, you were probably thinking the same thing. Mohammed Ali used to say it all the time, and during several key points in his career, he proved himself right.     I have a friend in Pheonix, Arizona who is a numerologist. His name is Jerome Carter. Whenever Jerome and I talk he tries to get me to not say things like “I’m tired” or “I am sucking at whatever” or “I am sick and tired of being nice to my daughter’s father because he makes me want to throw up in my mouth”. Jerome says that “I Am” and whatever comes out of one’s mouth afterward is actually some sort of spiritual link to the divine mind. For example, if you say “I am tired”, you are sending a message to the universe that you want more circumstances that will cause you to be more tired. If you say “I am the greatest.” You are … Continue reading →