Why Get Married Then?

Mike and I had a very interesting conversation on the show today that started out about Tiger Woods, appropriate “jump off” behavior and then moved on to Lil Wayne and then went back to “jump off”s and cheating in general. Mike made a great point. Why do folks even bother to get married if they know they can’t be faithful to their spouse?

 

Of course, I posted this question on my wall and the discussion varied from marriage is outdated human technology to why don’t men just have multiple wives? Ugh. Of course, to the latter, I simple posed the question: “WHY DON’T WOMEN JUST HAVE MULTIPLE HUSBANDS BECAUSE WE TEND TO BE FAR BETTER AT KEEPING THINGS TOGETHER THAN MEN ARE?” I didn’t actually write it like that. But, hopefully, you get my point. Do you?

 

Cheating is not a male phenonmenon. Women cheat just as much as men do, and yet, the solution for modern marriage is for men to have multiple wives? At my core, I honestly don’t know why people cheat to begin with. Why marry somebody you don’t want to put your full energy toward? If you have so many relationships floating by for you to explore, why not explore those relationships and NOT take wedding vows and sign legal documents and gather family and friends around and wear white dresses and rent tuxes and the coordinating shiny shoes, dance to your special song and go on your honeymoon? Why do people make the wedding industry a billion dollar business genre just to make of mockery of it with countless “transgressions” that make no real sense to me. Is it having one’s cake and eat it to? Is it just simple childishness? What is it????!!!!

 

I’ve perused the web looking for answers and I found the following interpretation on why people cheat. I can’t say for sure that it’s at all clinical information, but it is food for thought. Again–The below is NOT written by moi. But it is interesting. I’d love to hear your thoughts. The moral of this story? No clue. Just some food for thought. Thank you for reading this though. I bid you peace and abundant blessings in your relational journey. -e-

 

1. Bored

I’d say this is the most common reason that people cheat.It’s tough to keep that edge throughout a relationship. Things start off grand and then level off and then you both realize that it’s still real life. When you meet someone else, that inaugural excitement of a new relationship kicks back in.

 

2. Dependence

At first glance, cheating seems like independent behavior. It could be interpreted as doing what you want, when you want. But I would argue that cheating is a dependent behavior. A cheater is dependent because they are not strong enough to break up with their significant other in order to get with the new person.

 

3. Confusion

Sometimes life or a particular situation can get to you. When the perfect storm of confusion is going on in your head, you make mistakes.

 

4. Because They Let You

If any girl ever cheated on me, I’d break up with her immediately. Forgiving a cheater is putting up with it, and starts a vicious cycle. That person who cheated may lose respect for you and might continue to cheat-because they know they can get away with it, because you’ll continue to take them back.

 

5. Nurturing

If someone is mistreating you, then your first instinct is to get away from him or her. But sometimes it’s not that simple-maybe you are raising kids together. If you feel trapped in a bad relationship, it’s only natural that you will run to the open arms of a person who treats you well.

 

6. Revenge

This is quite simple- an eye for an eye. Cheat on them if they cheat on you. If they continuously hurt you or abuse you in some way, you do it to get them back.

 

7. Confirmation of Attractiveness

Sometimes when you’re in a long relationship, or if your significant other is taking you for granted, you begin to wonder if you’re still attractive. Perhaps, because you were out on the dating circuit, you felt more attractive when you were single. If you have an affair, you’ve proven that a new person can be attracted to you.

 

8. The Thrill

Some people just enjoy the thrill of cheating: running around secretly, risking getting caught, andcreating thrilling moments with a forbidden romance.

 

9. They Don’t Consider It Cheating, Even Though You Might

Relationships have that grey area, usually right before you become exclusive. He thinks date #4 is when you’re “together,” and you think date #2 is when you’re “together.” If you haven’t talked about exclusivity, someone may think they are well within their rights to see other people, even though the other person in the relationship may not.