Envy McKee

Sunday, May 13, 2012 will go down in history as the day I climbed over a very, very tall wall.  Well. Actually it was closer to 4 very tall walls. The walls were all so tall, I needed help from those around me to get over them. But that isn’t the point. The point is, for close to 5 hours I faced every single physical obstacle known to woman and I got through all of them. Just like the 1500+ other masochistic souls who participated in the PA series of Tough Mudders did. It was a thrill.   When I think back on all that I did. The ginormous tub of ice water– a mere 3 obstacles in. That thing in itself was enough to send a more sane someone pacing the exact opposite direction. For me, standing up on the landing to the tub was easy. It’s easy enough to stand and look at anything you’re about to do. Even the jumping in was easy for me. I had no idea how cold it actually was. I haaaaayyyyyyte cold. … Continue reading →

  It is done unto you as you believe. Eight completely unassuming words that can easily be ignored if you aren’t paying attention. If you ARE paying attention… JAB! Right to the neck.   A few things happened today. I would start from the beginning, but that almost makes too much sense. I’ve never ever claimed to want to do too much of that in one sitting. So, we start from the seemingly irrelevant part. Make this entire post a bit like a scavenger hunt!   I’m at the gym . I’m preparing (finally) for my Tough Mudder experience on May 13 and I’ve been very good about (at least) the running portion of my training. For ease and grace purposes, I get on a treadmill every day and run. I’m an interval training kind of gal so to break up the torturous monotony of feeling like a hamster in a wheel, I mix 5 minutes of brisk walking with between 5-15 minutes of go hard running–always looking forward to that little 5 minute break when it comes up never … Continue reading →

Since my Uncle Paul passed, I’ve been on a sort of emotional roller coaster. A lot of things in my life have been weird. Some things have been unmanageable.  I’ve allowed my emotions to do whatever they wanted to. My mourning process has been a hybrid of big laughs and tough realizations of where I now stand in my life journey. Death is like that. While I understand its place in life, we never know how loss will effect or affect us until it happens. For me, the last two deaths in my immediate family have been hard on my spirit. The good news is that I’m starting to feel a bit more like myself again. Complete with the need to fix my innards. More. Again. Still.   I’ve been through this before. I come to this place–it can be called a kind of purgatory–where I can’t move forward. I can’t move side to side.  Certainly–moving backward is not an option. Essentially, I feel stuck. Nothing is “wrong” per say, but nothing is moving really. Progression  seems to be stalling. Stuff … Continue reading →

First of all. Allow me to say thank you. Thank you for your love and support. AND Thank you for your collective humanity. Some of you anyway. I was going through a rough patch. I was facing the reality of my Uncle Paul’s passing minxed along with the reality that far too many young Black boys won’t make it to that ripe old age of 74 my uncle damn near got to see. I posted a video about my complex mourning scenario. My issue was with how one Black man was called “home” after succeeding a life well lived. Meanwhile, somewhere in Florida, a young Black boy will never have that same opportunity my Uncle Paul had because he was a young Black boy. Living in America. Living around other people who don’t value his life or other lives like his. Living in a society so afraid to be called racist that they allow their prejudice against Brown skin to fester and boil over until they act out who they truly are anyway.  Let that sit there in your mid … Continue reading →

It’s March. Like, almost the middle of March. I have to admit that much of this post had been written already. I was holding on to it. I suppose, to make sure I still felt the same. I do. We’ll get to that later.   The last few weeks I’ve had so much going on. New opportunities presented themselves (!) I was so excited (!) There I was, finding myself going hard–saying– “Look at God” (!) (circa @im3media) doing everything I always do in new relationships–business or otherwise. I don’t put my big toe in to feel the water. I don’t take the “cat on the roof” cautionary route as Martha Beck suggests. Nope, not me. I jump in, head first and pray the water is deep enough when I get to it. That’s how I do pretty much everything in my life. You get everything or you get nada. Yessir. It’s an intense place to live from. The highs are so mind blowing high and the lows make for a perfect #KYS cocktail. I mean, it’s not exactly that … Continue reading →

Hi there!!! Hellooooooo! *Ninja Pose* I’m grumpy. Today. Plus some of yesterday. Since Saturday, actually. I’ve just been funky. No rightly idea why. I mean, I have some idea why. But nothing specific, specific. It could be any damned thing.   Maybe it’s because I know my cleanse is just about over and I’m wondering what in the world I will do when I no longer HAVE to keep promises to myself that involves NOT flooding my system with stone dead food, crap and preservatives. Maybe it’s because mother nature is about to have her monthly way with me. AND in lieu of cramps– because of my trumped up gladiator workout– I’m getting instead– fuller boobs, a plumper, squat induced gluteus, way too much energy for anyone 20 years my junior AND a funky, fucked up attitude.  I know. Boo-ffffin-hoo.   Maybe the attitude is temporary. Maybe, because I’ve been cleaning out all the layers of ground in gunk that has been accumulating since my childhood…maybe because I’ve finally actually gotten past the superficial gunk and I’ve gotten to the … Continue reading →

Maybe we have a problem, Houston. Maybe the loss of so many “greats” in this small fragment of time is actually an issue. Maybe folk who seem to have already served their purpose on this planet and know what’s coming are all too instinctive to jump ship and be out before stuff starts to get real, um, real. Out here. I’m just saying.   Etta James, Steve Jobs, Joe Frazier, Andy Whitfield, were kindof understandable. They were ill. Amy Winehouse, Heavy D., DJ Mehdi , Gil Scott- Heron and Don Cornelius were all surprises. To me anyway. Weird. Philly’s own renowned journalist Fatimah Ali’s passing was incomprehensible.  There are many more who are worthy of mention. Yes… many, many more…   So to be in the movie theatre with my mom, watching my colleague Q Deezy’s indie feature film Exit Strategy and hear that whilst we were sitting, giggling aloud and I was gushing over my friend’s accomplishment–one of the greatest greats who ever opened her mouth to sing a note was rushed off this life plane. I didn’t know how to … Continue reading →

Please. Believe I’m teetering myself between intrigue and not caring. I can’t say I’ve ever been a baseball fan. It has been, to me, a bit like watching paint dry. Plus, I don’t drink beer. I’ve lost a lot of friends saying those two things out loud and in that order. Yes. I’ve set this post up in this way. Even at the risk of forever turning future husband, Matt Kemp, off to me for good. I do this for a very good reason. To make a very important point. Duh.   I had a dream. I would like to say MY dream was even a smidgen as compelling as MLK’s blockbuster. And yet, I won’t know until I share it. Shall I?   My dream was actually a movie. Serious. I couldn’t tell if I was watching the movie or in it. But I’ll assume I was watching it because I had no speaking parts. The dream felt a lot like I imagine how Scrooge felt being dragged about time at the hand of those awful spirits to witness his treachery … Continue reading →

Dear People of Color, Particularly young girls. If you don’t yet know. If no one told you today. I am here to tell you. Emphatically!!! You are beautiful. True beauty, however, stems from and grows from within. True beauty is knowing you are a divine reflection of the highest source: Love. Truest beauty needs no “embellishment”, it already is. IT is so. So BE it. And all that now means for you….   I am beautiful. Yes, I am full of myself. I should be. I’m beautiful. No one on Earth looks like me. Sure, there’s beauty in the world. But none,  comparable to mine. I am beautiful.   My hair may not be straight Like greasy hay sticks. My hair curls when my fingers pull through it. My hair is called kinks or pugs or gnarls or snags. The many colors of my hair are more beautiful than any rainbow.  and I need no leprechaun to tell me so. My hair has character. My hair is beautiful.   My nose may not be pointy like the tip of a … Continue reading →

And so. February is in the fast lane. You know what that means don’t you? Don’t you?! Nope, it has nothing to do with that silly day two weeks in that finds folk scrambling and in a panic about red, chocolate, and illogical jewelry preferences. I digress.   February, dear ones, is “National CLEAN the Gunk Out of My Insides” month! I mean, it’s actually African-American History Month. Same thing though. Sort of. Okay, one has little to do with the other. Except the fact that it should. But it doesn’t. But it should.   It is unfortunate that people of color have the worst statistics following them around. There are tons of them floating about– most of them we know by heart. The one’s about our general poor health, lagging education, incarceration, unemployment, morbidity, crime rates per capita, etc. and what have you. The most important statistic, however is this one: Percent of men 20 years and over who are obese: 37% Percent of women 20 years and over who are obese: 51%           Source: Health, United … Continue reading →