Happy Friday Night Love and Light to you! Welcome to another winning week of awesome!
Prayerfully you didn’t need to use the “Prayer for Difficult People” often this week… but if you did, you got to see the glorious benefits and freedom that comes from lifting folk up at all times. Even when you’re annoyed. Yes? The blessing you give is the blessing you receive in kind. K.
Turn Down for Whet?! Your Sanity. (The 5 best ways to handle situations where disagreements are inevitable)
I’m asked all the time how I deal with situations where people of different world views and mind waves get together and weird arguments happen. How do we come away from disagreements whole? How do we turn down our passion enough to get our point across or just to be heard at all? We all want to be heard, this I know for true. People can be mighty, mighty defensive about their beliefs too, yes? How many times have you seen the words “if you don’t like what I post, you can unfriend/unfollow/close your eyes/pretend I don’t exist me” on social mediums of all sorts? People want the public space to say all of their TMI, but they don’t like having to defend their TMI if other folk have questions or opinions or whatever. Which is ironic. But I digress. How many times have you been in a disagreement with someone and they spent all their time talking over you, or you them and what’s the point?!
I believe in some fundamental way we all want to get along and find common ground. I think sometimes we let our fear of being wrong get in the way of doing the right things. Don’t you? Of course, sometimes we just don’t know what the fock we’re talking about and talk out loud anyway, but I believe most people have the best possible intentions. Even when it looks weird when they do.
The best way to handle situations where disagreements are inevitable (particularly on social media) is:
1) Just Say No to Cortisol: Decide if what you’re about to engage in is worth the cortisol dump. Cortisol comes from stress. Stress comes from engaging stressful people and things. Some folk really just do stuff to get attention. That’s what it’s about. Is it worth you getting all bent out of shape for somebody who you know in your spirit is not about the conscious communication life? I personally like to choose my battles and stay sane.
2) Curb Your Emoting. Please and Thank You: If you do engage, make sure you have a point that is attached to facts and stay in that lane. One thing I know as a master debater (hehehehehehe) It is impossible to debate emotion. People like to, which is how things escalate and feelings get hurt because folk throw stuff into the conversation to get a reaction or to soothe a bruised ego. Facts are facts tho and if you stick with facts, you can be as passionate as you wanna be and still have no use for calling folk out their name or doing any number of the ego infused things that people do that have exactly ZERO to do with anything regarding the conversation.
3) It’s All Relative: Remember that right and wrong is relative. Let’s say you’re both right. Now what? The goal of an argument is to find common ground. So find it.
4) Bless and Go: When folk get irate, bless them and walk away. By bless I mean a solid “love and light, have a nice night”. Please don’t be that person who says things like, “I’ll pray for you”, unless you’re so G you are willing to add your prayer to the conversation right on the spot. People who say “I’ll pray for you” are usually playing holier than thou and don’t really mean it. I never tell folk I’m going to pray for them, I just do and it changes the entire dynamic of the conversation. In the words of the wise Brothers Outkast:
Don’t pull the thang out
Unless you plan to bang(Bombs over Baghdad)
(Yeah, yeah!)
Don’t even bang
Unless you plan to hit something
(Bombs over Baghdad)
5) Separation Taint Real: And finally, remember that separation is man-made. It’s a myth we made up and no one really knows why. We act like we don’t know each other. We pretend that we’re all so different. But the truth of the universe is we’re all in this thing together and there is no way around it.The sooner we can figure that out, the easier it will be to talk to one another in ways that are conducive to working together for the greatest good of the ALL. Until then, show some compassion and LOVE for your brethen and sistren. Tell them the actual truth every single time. They’re having a hard time with this human incarnation, as you do sometimes. Bless them and mean it. For your sanity.
So. That’s what I learned this week. I do hope it helps something. Thank you for reading this (!!!) Remember always to #RuleYoSelf with L.O.V.E. Have a Happy Awesome Weekend! Love you madly!
Osho Lovianhal friends,
-e-