Silence is golden.
It speaks multitudes
to the masses
they hear what they want anyway.
Me?
Today at least
I hear nothing.
No birds chirping.
No dogs barking
No angels singing
No love making.
No noise
Not even my heart beating.
No breathing
No speaking.
No chimes on my phone
Telling me of a message
No dings in my head
Like I know what comes next.
This nothingness is both eerily familiar
And a peace from my past.
It is the sound of you and me
Apart
It’s as usual now.
My wanting you
To give me you
And you doing
Nothing about it.
Your wanting to give you me
And
Doing nothing about it.
I get it.
It’s complicated
We’re complicated.
Our love has never been
Cut and dry
Black and white
Or red.
Sometimes it’s like
Pink
Or yellow
Blends of hotness
And chill
Passion
And the blues
And quiet.
Not speaking
Or hearing or
Anything at all
Just hearts beating in different places
Two different bodies
Designed to be one
But functioning
Often painfully
As two.
Apartness is what we choose
Despite
What we knew
What we know
What we do.
It doesn’t change what is…
Patience
Is a virtue
I keep writing
Hoping
Something I say here
Will effect
Or affect
You.
It doesn’t seem to though.
Your silence is my curse.
Always has been
Cause I can feel your thoughts.
I can feel you
Separate
But always with me
Haunting me
Telling me nothing with your lips
And everything with
Your quiet.
I can build you a door
To enter
And the knob
To turn with.
I can even open it for you
But I can’t go through.
Going through it
Is what you have to do.
Or don’t.
Fear cripples.
It robs
It steals
Potential
It makes us weak
It takes crowns from kings.
it makes a pen a sword
and a heart a void
it makes us quiet
when we need to be loud
it makes us passive when we need to be rowdy.
Fear is songless in a heart that wants to sing.
Fear is what takes the golden from silence
So that it’s just silence
As in
Nothing is happening.
Of all the things that I know that I know
You
I can never tell
Why you won’t take
What’s yours
Your crown
Your birthright
Your divine right life
You let it sit next to you
But you won’t put it on
You walk beside it and gawk
But you won’t wear it
You refuse
Fear
Quiet
Silence
Is golden
Or can be
Should be
Reflective
Not just nothing
But it is
With you
And it’s not
Because
I know you’re quiet with me
Because
You’re asleep
Not awakened
A slave
To your fear
To your gift
you fight off
all your good
With
Your quiet
afraid to be free
awake
adorned
To just be
Who you are
with me
To be
Who you were born
to
Be…
-e-