Since my trip to LA has been delayed, I’ve been unpacking luggage. Fortunately, the luggage I’ve unpacked is not the clothes, shoes and bikini kind. It’s the life stuff that has been hanging around in my spiritual attic for ages. Some stuff I didn’t even know was there, just chillin in my psyche like it was supposed to be there as I supposedly go on with my life in an abundant spirit filled way. Humph.
The only reason I even knew all that junk was in there was because of how I was feeling the last two days. My spirit just felt so heavy and weighed down and I had no idea where the sadness was coming from.
Understand me here. I meditate at least twice a day. My meditation practice keeps me very in tuned with my body and what I’m feeling and on most days I’m filled with the joy of living. When yuckiness just lays on me, there’s something deep that’s come up that needs to be addressed.
Sometimes, I liken having a daily spiritual practice to a seriously thorough house cleaning–which doesn’t really sound fun now that I think about it. Okay, well, maybe it’s closer to peeling away the layers of an onion. Nope, no fun there either, but this is actually pretty close to the truth in the beginning. When you peel an onion, the layers come away revealing softer, fresher onion meat in the process. The only thing that sucks is that an onion is so potent it makes you cry for seemingly no damn reason.
With that said, having a spiritual practice is hard work. Some days I don’t want to get up and sit right away. Sometimes I don’t want to deal with things that come up. Sometimes in my self-righteousness, I say hurtful things to people and because the things I said were true, I don’t want to apologize to them for hurting their feelings. Sometimes, knowing what is required of me on any given day, I don’t feel like it.
What I have learned in making a habit of turning within for guidance is that what goes on in our lives–every single thing that happens is a reflection of what’s happening on the inside. As it is above, so it is below. If your life feels chaotic, your mind is chaos. If your life feels sad and full of depressing circumstances, your mind and thought are holding on to depressing thoughts and attitudes. If your life feels free flowing and abundant, guess what thoughts you’re keeping? Absolutely. What ever is going on within, is manifesting in your life. Period.
I was introduced to meditation years ago, but never really got into it for varying reasons, mostly–I had no idea what I was sitting for. And then when I did sit, a lot of times, all I would feel is sad. What I discovered as a meditating grown up, is that while I painted a gorgeous face of happiness and optimism and all of that–all of that was a clever disguise for what was really going on in my mind, heart and spirit. Oceans of disappointments by the people who claim to love me, situations I put myself in, growing up not feeling loved or cherished or honored for the person I was designed to be, feeling picked on and berated, you name it. It was there. Chillin behind the scenes like an anchor, keeping my spirit stuck to people and situations that don’t serve my destiny.
What meditating does is it allows you to practice controlling your thoughts. IT allows you to exert your mental strength and your will over YOURSELF. It allows you to release yourself from struggle and strife, anguish and worry. It allows you to surrender to your greatest good–knowing that Everything, Every single thing is working for you and your greatest good. everything is for you. nothing is against you. It’s so simple and that’s why most people don’t do it. But it’s the simplicity of sitting in quiet and setting an intention and controlling your thoughts, allowing what comes up to be addressed in forgiveness and therefore freeing yourself from it and it from you. That’s where all the complication comes from.
I get it. Who in the hell has time to sit quietly for 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes to think about nothing and how can anyone think about nothing? Unless there’s not much in their thinking to start. Right? Well, that’s why they call meditation a practice. You are literally practicing the control over your mental domain. If you know how powerful your thinking is–conscious and unconscious– over your life, you start to get the gist that having dominion over your thinking is paramount and possible. With practice.
Try this exercise to start. Sit in a quiet room. It can be anywhere–your car, your bedroom, your office, anywhere. Sit in the power position with your back straight and your feet firmly planted on the floor. Your palms can be faced up on your thighs or down. Whichever makes you feel most comfortable. If you prefer to sit on the floor, sit with your legs crossed in front of you and a pillow under you bum to keep your back straight. Now close your eyes and breathe normally. Just sit and breathe for a few minutes, focusing on your breath. Watch your breath as it goes in and comes out. After you feel comfortable in this position and your breathing, set your intention for sitting. It could be: “I sit to find a solution for my situation.” Or, “I sit to win a million dollars.” Whatever, just name what it is and be quiet and just breathe. Sometimes I start by thinking of all the things I am grateful for. “I am so grateful for waking up this morning. I am grateful for having lungs that work and a heart that beats and air to breathe and food to eat.” I tend to pick things that I would normally take for granted. Then I pray for folks in the world who don’t have these things. I say thank you that these people are provided for. That their body temples are healed and that their water supply is replenished, etc. When I do this first, it doesn’t matter how I’m feeling before doing this, I instantly feel better about whatever is going on in my life.
It seems like a lot to do just to get to ask for the things I want or need in my own life, by establishing how grateful I am for what I have already. Buuuut, keeping a spirit of gratitude puts me in a vibration to affirm what I already know, that my needs are already being met. That I am already abundant, that life is already so very good to me. By having this abundant energy flowing through my spirit, I’m putting out good vibes everywhere I go. The smile on my face is infectious. When I’m smiling, people are just a smiling back at me. When I’m joy stepping, people may look at me funny at first, but honey, a little pep enters their step as well. THAT is how connected we are. Just like violent behavior begets violent behavior. Being in love with life and ourselves no matter where we are and what we have begets love all around. It works every single time, with every single body. Try it.
Now this is how frail it all is in the beginning. When we are superficial about our happiness, we become sensitive to other folks stuff. As soon as we smile at somebody that scowls back at us, we take it personally and all of a sudden–“I can’t even believe I bothered with this ish. What was Envy talking about?! This mess don’t work. People are evil”, etc, and what have you. The truth is, just like any practice, in order to get good at it, you have to do it every day. Sometimes several times a day. What you learn is that whatever joy or blissfulness that is brimming the full glass inside you, won’t be tipped over just because somebody having a bad day tries to tip it. You end up praying to that person’s higher self and keep it moving. It ain’t personal. That meanie just ain’t started his or her own internal practice yet. It’s really that simple.
So back to the meditation…
After I express my gratitude for what I have already, when I feel open, I ask a question. Sometimes I ask: “What is this situation teaching me?” “To get to where I want to go, what kind of person would I have to become?” And then I sit and let my thoughts guide me. I just let it flow and see what comes to mind. A lot of times I’ll get an idea or a few that stay will me after I’ve finished my session. Throughout the day, I pay special attention to the people who are contacting me. There are no coincidence or accidents if you really think about it.
The best way to begin a meditation practice is to do it when you first wake up to “set” your energy. You do this early enough to beat the household traffic that may pull on your time and energy. I’ve also begun meditating before bed as well and I’m teaching Aubrei to sit and be quiet in the morning before school and at night before bed. To teach a 3 year old to sit in quiet for longer than two minutes is a feat unto itself, but Aubrei enjoys sitting in mommy’s lap in quiet and this practice has done wonders for both of us, particularly with regard to Aubrei’s evening sleep routine.
What I found is that when I set my energy in this way before I begin my day, I see things more clearly. I am far more calm and far less reactionary. I’m not always in a good mood, I still have fluctuations as we all do, however, I tend not to take things that bother me so personally. The biggest thing I get out of meditating is the honesty I have with myself. Sitting quietly by myself forces me to deal with me. It forces me to deal with my idiosyncrasies and all the ways I may be sabotaging my own progress. How many times do we do the same things over and over and expect a different result?! By meditating, I’m literally forcing myself to see the actual truth. I may not like what I’m seeing in myself, but by seeing it, I have the opportunity to address it. I can say: “I’m noticing such and such in myself. What things do I need to do to change it.” The answer always comes either through something I think about randomly, by way of something I’m flipping through to read and even through people I meet or who happen to call me or who I feel compelled to call. It’s funny how that works.
Let’s be clear here. Meditation is NOT a religion. It’s a practice. Whatever you believe about God doesn’t change what meditation is to you. A meditation practice is so personal, it is literally different for every single body who does it. And it’s not as gooey as people think it is. Once you begin to meditate, sure, you may feel happier and feel more empowered. But that’s not to say that you’ll wake up one day hugging trees, shunning eating meat, and begin to carry a backpack with rice pudding in it. There’s no telling what meditating will unfold in you. What I can say it will do is show you plainly the truths that are hidden in you about you. It’s up to you whether you embrace them. So, try it. It’s not going to be easy at first, but as you begin to sit in silence with yourself and without distraction, you’ll find that you know exactly what to do. BTW, “I don’t feel like it”, is NOT an option in self transformation. That’s why I say, the solution is YOU!
The moral of this story? I can’t call it. Just some food for thought. Thank you for reading this though. I wish you love and abundance in everything on this Thanksgiving Day. Peace and abundant meditative blessings! -e-