I mean, I haven’t lost him yet. I don’t think. Technically, you can’t lose somebody you haven’t got anyway. I’m just saying.
Yesterday, Mr. Gotcha came by for an impromptu visit. Yes. I invited him, but under the guises that it would simply be a long walk in the park. At the exact moment I was meeting him outside, Murphy’s Law decided to take effect. My mom, my sister and Aubrei came outside too. So now I’m rushing to pack Aubrei in the car, as Mr. Gotcha is walking toward me. I’m trying to remain cool. I don’t think it’s working.
I give him this look, but he keeps walking toward me. My mom says hi to him. I say hi to him, kind of like I have no idea who he is, but he’s lingering. Everybody is looking at me like I’m boo boo the fool, because at this point, I have no idea what to do. So, I walk away. Total melt down. *sigh*
Disaster doesn’t even cover what went down. The easiest and most logical thing to do at the time would have been to acknowledge his presence and make casual introductions.
Me: “This is my friend, Mr. Gotcha. Mr. Gotcha, this is my mom, my sister, and Aubrei.”
Of course, this very logical and casual play on events would also have eliminated one other blog topic that has been subject of a fairly involved debate over the course of the last few days–The Aubrei introduction. I could have killed so many birds with that one simple stone, right? Yeah…well.
Because I had not planned any of these introductions under these circumstances or at that time, and was not ready to invite my family into my business at that moment, I was hoping to ignore the situation all together. Even as the situation was happening. I was now the deer in headlights watching the Mack truck hit me. *Smack! Bang! Boom! Ooww!*
So I come back from my melt down walk. By this time, my mom and Aubrei have left and my sister is telling me how obvious everything looked and, of course, she wants to meet him. Whaaaatever. Mr. Gotcha had walked back to his car. I do the 10 paces of shame walk toward him.
I apologize to Mr. Gotcha profusely and he’s laughing at me and what not. I take it, because very rarely am I lacking composure enough to make a complete ass out of myself and not even on purpose.
He tells me he’s fine with everything. We talk about it at length. I’m embarrassed as all hell. We go for our walk and we hang out for a few hours, everything seems cool, except, something has changed. It’s subtle, but it’s there. In fact, it took me until this very moment to pin point exactly what it was… His attitude shifted. The balance of power in our courtship went from me being the quintessential catch, to him realizing that I was just about caught. Also known as the “game over” effect.
We get it, in relationships, whomever is doing the pursuing, as basically at the whim of the pursuee. Most cases, the pursuee is the girl. But once the girl shows signs of letting her guard down and the “like” thing happening–which she says out loud… a lot, which usually results in some sort of uncharacteristic dizziness on her part (i.e. the above melt down scenario). These events relax the pursuer a great deal, causing him feel a bit more in control of the courtship process. He inevitably gets a little more swag in his demeanor and maybe even a touch cocky. Ultimately, the “I got this” attitude happens.
Then, of course, the girl tends to stay discombobulated and what not, not realizing she’s getting trampled on by this guy because he knows the chase is over. Or will be soon.
Now.
I’m not saying exactly that this is happening, per say. I’m just saying I noticed a big difference in attitude prior to the “deer in headlights” event versus after said event. I even noticed a change in attitude on my part. My confidence level dipped, the convo got gooey, a few too many compliments slipped my lips, etc. Diva card. Revoked.
Granted, it is saying something that the melt down happened at all, isn’t it? My parents have met so many of my “friends” over the years and this was a really big, embarrassing first. Let’s be clear. I have talked to millions of people on the air at any given moment and through out the course of my career. I’ve been on TV. I talk to strangers daily. I’ve given nerve racking presentations to perfect strangers and not once, ever have I missed a beat. Some may say I relish an audience–which would explain why I tell all my crazy business on this blog. So… WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?!!! Why this guy? What is it about him that would cause such a global melt down for seeming no logical reason at all? Would I have done the same thing if it were anyone else?
I don’t know, because anyone else was not there. But I do think now would be as good a time as any to mention, one other really small detail. Mr. Gotcha is NOT a Black Man. Ahhh, switches up your mindset a little bit doesn’t it? Stay tuned…
The moral of this story? No moral. The story isn’t even finished yet.
Thank you for reading this though. Tune in next post to find out what
happens next. LOL Peace and abundant blessings… -e-