This week has been particularly complicated for me. I’ve been doing the mental equivalent of I-refuse-to-get-sick-Kung-Fu trying to keep my body from falling completely into the depths of whatever that is that happens when a cold is looming and the body aches start happening. Anyone who’s ever been at the brink between “I’m Okay” and “Oh, Ugh” knows what I mean. Trying to focus is like, “yeah right”. Needless to say, what started out as a “go hard or go home!” week, has shriveled into “OMG is it Friday already?” I’ve gotten about nada done this week, still don’t feel 100 percent and I have a pile of stuff to do. Which is actually stressing me out more than trying to work “sick”. Although, we’ll agree the end result would be the same. Not a whole lot worth mentioning.
But let me tell you how awesome life is. Even when you don’t wanna, life will put you in touch with reality. Par example. Through my personal non-battle with non-sickness AND my incessant belief that even I (being magic) don’t need enough rest or food and can still work my magic without any consequences (like lower immunity which may cause non-sickness), I got a nooice bone chilling wake up call when I was physically so tired I couldn’t wake up one morning. When I finally did wake up, and finished five of thee most pathetic rounds of sun salutations (yes, it’s an official habit now) and when sitting in front of my computer physically hurt, it dawned on me I haven’t been taking good care of myself lately. Duh. I work too much. I play much less than usual. AND I’m in close proximity of energy siphon(er)s. These three things, plus not eating enough or getting enough rest is a sure fire path to what class? Yes. Non-sickness. Nooice
By now, you’re wondering, well is you sick or isn’t you Envy? What is this “non-sickness” garbage? Let’s be clear. I don’t believe in illness. Whether it actually exists within the Matrix (and I just choose to ignore it) is none of my business. I promise, to delve into my personal philosophies concerning Dis-ease, and this weird idea of being “sick” and such will require a whole series of posts on their own. On this last Friday in February (and the end of Mercury retrograde), let’s just keep it cute and country shalt we? I don’t feel 100 right now and I take full 100 percent ownership for my contributions to my current feelings of suckiness. I’ve earned my way here and I shall earn my way back to perfect health. Green juice style. But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about burn out. And when you know its time to CLEAN. Which is a lot, so we’ll move fast.
Not feeling 100 percent, for any number of reasons, is often the precursor of a temporary body temple breakdown, as I’m experiencing. Or it can be the beginning stages of burn out–which I kindof think I’m up to also. What is burn out, you ask? There aren’t any neat definitions for burn out, except you know it when you feel it creeping over your shoulder after one too many 3am editing sessions. It’s that feeling that lurks and then lingers after your final straw of arguing with that one person that quite literally sucks you bone marrow dry. It’s what happens after you’ve picked yourself up from what looks like “failure” one too many times, brushed yourself off and just kept on with the keep on, trying to find the bright side of a broke up heart. Because that’s what we’re supposed to do. Not bat an eye at our pain and just keep grinding. Or so we’re told. But what happens when you finally reach a wall you can’t just climb over or wishful think away? What happens when all your positive affirmations feel more like self mocking of what you ain’t got? What happens when you work so so so hard, but you don’t seem to be seeing results that match your effort? What happens when those little pangs of doubt start to feel like really, really big boulders in your stomach? It means some perspective is in order. And probably a break. Also.
Spirit guided me to look up “burn out” and by now we get it that when spirit nudges, I’ll argue for a few beats and then procrastinatingly do as I’m guided. THEE most perfect article came in the form of Martha Beck’s 5 Ways to Bring Yourself Back from Burnout
Oooh Wait! #Scandal … … … …
I bring up burnout here, because from personal experience, when ever this non-sickness starts to loom, it’s because a) I’m doing way too much and 2) I’m teetering dangerously close to the edge of burnout. Because a) I’m doing way too much. I know how cache and cultural it is for we Americans to work ourselves down to our fray. We pat ourselves on the back for being so diligent, working through the tsunamis of the lives we create for ourselves with no breaks or rest periods built in and then wonder why the quality of our lives suffer in the process. For me, doing this, has resulted in more set backs that I had to climb my way up from, than I care to actually admit out loud. Those of us who are diligently working our dream, are sometimes led to believe we can “sleep when we’re dead”. Or that there is honor in taking our bodies for granted and pushing ourselves so we can prove (to whomever) that the grind is real, or whatever. I am by no means saying that working ones dream should not involve extreme diligence, but I am saying there’s a point where pushing ourselves and stressing ourselves about outcomes, actually gets us farther from realizing our dreams than closer. Martha Beck puts it this way:
The Biology of Burnout
There’s no specific medical disorder called burnout, but every doctor knows that prolonged stress has negative consequences. One of these is adrenal fatigue, which comes from overstimulating the hormones that fuel high-energy behavior. Initially, it feels fabulous—you can work like Hercules, compensating for exhaustion with adrenaline, caffeine, or straight-up willpower. But eventually your high-activity hormones run low. You slow down while trying to speed up. Illness, memory loss, and accidents replace achievement. Jesse Lynn Hanley, MD, coauthor of Tired of Being Tired, has identified five levels of burnout. See if one fits you.
Driven
You’re working flat-out, in a nonstop blur of accomplishment. You feel you can go on like this forever! You can’t!Draggin
You’re sucking up sugar and caffeine to fight fatigue, maybe popping over- the-counter sleep aids to help you “sleep faster,” and feeling unpleasantly chubby.Losing It
You’re definitely tired, visibly plump (or alarmingly preskeletal), and perpetually grumpy. You lie awake nights, thoughts racing, longing for sleep. At work and at home, you’ve developed a charming habit of biting people’s heads off.Hitting the Wall
You’re racked by aches and pains, gaining (or losing) weight, prone to temper tantrums or crying jags, hard-pressed to remember things like computer passwords or your children’s names.Burned Out
By now you may have a serious illness (heart disease, an autoimmune disorder) or have been in a car accident. To stay marginally functional, you depend on drugs you obtain either from a shrink who innocently believes you’re just depressed or from a man you know only as “Viper.” Nobody likes you. The silver lining? As Hanley writes, “If you do not die during this stage, there is no place to go but up.”
If any of the above sounds like what you’re up to, it’s important to take mental note and then take physical action by doing the exact opposite of what you’re doing to get that way. The easiest way to do this from my perspective is to simply stop– exactly when your eyes get the kind of bleary that doesn’t go away, no matter how much eye rubbing, ice water splashes, or caffeine IVs you hook yourself up to; do not pass go, get in the bed. Seriously. This idea also happens to be good ole Martha’s 2nd Chill Principle:
Chill Principle 2: Sleep as if your life depends on it.
Some people feel superior when they work around the clock. This is like proudly pouring Tabasco sauce in your eyes. Sleep makes you smarter, better-looking, more creative. It can add years to your life. It does more to improve the long-term quality of that life than money, fancy vacations, or hot sex. Not giving high priority to sleep is, frankly, insane.
Because our culture doesn’t teach this, many people feel they don’t have time to sleep. There are certainly days, even weeks, when this is true. But when sleep deprivation drags into months or years, we’re making choices that sustain it. Because I’ve been all the way to burnout, I’ve become vigilant about getting enough sleep—and I started when I was unemployed and in debt. Exert every ounce of your will and ingenuity to do the same. Hire someone to help with the kids, even if it means living in a smaller house. Refuse to work for bosses who expect frequent all-nighters. Don’t take on tasks that disallow sleep, any more than you’d say yes to a job that deprives you of oxygen.
For “driven” patients, Hanley suggests six to eight hours of sleep each night, with naps as needed. For “dragging” patients: eight hours a night, with one period of relaxation during the day (sitting somewhere quiet, even in a restroom stall, for ten to 15 minutes). If you’re “losing it,” you need eight hours of sleep plus two ten- to 15-minute relaxation breaks. “Hitting the wall” means eight to nine hours each night, plus two breaks. And once you’re “burned out,” you need eight to ten hours of sleep, plus three 15- to 30-minute naps or retreats. Ignore these minimums, and your body will eventually end up lying still anyway—in your bed, a hospital, or the morgue. You choose.
Martha makes stuff pretty plain. Sleep is priority. I often forget this one simple thing when I’m in the throes of getting my grind on. I forget that even though my work isn’t necessarily the back breaking kind, creative stuff, mixed with everyday life stuff can burn you out just as fast as any other kind of too much work. The great news is my body always shifts me back into gear by making it impossible for me to work in any meaningful way. So I’m forced to regroup and put my temple back in priority zone. You? Which leads us to the importance of resetting our insides, at least once a year. But prayerfully seasonally.
I’ve been doing a whole foods version of Dr. Alejandro Junger’s CLEAN program for the better part of 4 years. When I started, I wasn’t nearly as savvy about food as I thought I was AND I had a very compelling addiction to French fries. Also know that for 16 years of my life, I was a vegetarian. I was also THEE least healthy vegetarian I had ever met. I knew nothing about how food works in the body, I just knew I could no longer hack eating cartilage in my chicken McNuggets. I’m laughing because that was literally the straw that broke the carnivore’s back way back when. Considering that I had zero idea at the time about what it meant to be vegetarian, mostly because the internets hadn’t been invented yet. *cough* I was, for all intents and purposes, the side dish queen. I would eat anything that didn’t have a mama. AND I would eat mostly crap. But I would tell people that I didn’t eat meat and they would chuckle their hearty chuckles whilst gnawing the bones of delicious smelling fried chicken. I would happily fill up on mashed potatoes and overcooked greens and roll my eyes that somehow, some way, there would be a point to my self inflicted food suffering–besides that uncontrollable gag reflex that happened when I smelled meat of any sort.
Fast forward to 4 years ago (and not a vegetarian since having my daughter 8 years ago–keep up) when I was first hipped to Dr. Alejandro Junger’s CLEAN program. Per usual, it was simply one of those weird social experiments I’m prone to be up to. What I wasn’t expecting–even through meeting my doppelganger that first year– was that doing CLEAN would literally change my whole life and begin a healthy food L.O.V.E. affair for me. If you spend any length of time perusing my social media contributions, you already know what life I’m bout. I wrote a whole series of posts about that first experience, so if you’re down for the get down–get down. The below vid may help a bit also.
FOOD IS INFORMATION
Food isn’t just calories, it’s information. Every bite we take is telling our genes and cells how to express themselves. It is important for us to start making the connection between what we eat and how we feel.
DID YOU KNOW?
Your body naturally regenerates itself? So quite literally, the foods you eat become your cells? Like, you actually ARE what you EAT and you EAT what you ARE. You didn’t? Peep this.
So. I’ve written all of this to say, Spring is a mere month away. Spring is a time of regeneration and growth. If you’re feeling the grumblings of burn out, or like me, you just feel Ugh and know it’s time to do something different, it may be time to try CLEAN. I typically do my 21 day CLEAN cleanse (using the whole foods plan, NOT the prepackaged shake mixes) in February mostly to be a smart ass, but this year I’ll be doing an extended cleanse through March and April– mostly, to be a smart ass. BUT, because I know how vital health and wellness is to dream living and our most authentic L.O.V.E.Lives, you’re welcome to join me. I’m not doing anything official, official this year by way of a public CLEAN, but I am doing it. Beginning tomorrow, March 1, 2014. If this is something that interests you, feel free to reach out. It will be my honor to help you out in any way I can. The only recommendation I will make is for you to pick up Dr. Junger’s book before and during getting started. It’s $3.99 on Kindle and it’s an awesome resource, particularly if you’re just getting started. It has a lot of amazing info about HOW foods work and WHY you’ll be eating whatever you’ll be eating. Plus, some really great recipes that will take you through a successful 21 day cleanse.
*dream sequence music* I often dabble in the idea of creating my own “real people” cleanse. I do have a very sexy, very healthy food app out with my dear friend Chef Michael Scipione that’s available via iTunes. I will say, it’s not a cleanse, but if you aren’t ready for the whole cabooty and want to at least get started on path to a sexier, healthier you–The Big Sexy is a great jump off point. The more I think about it, perhaps creating a “real people” cleanse is sooner on the horizon that we think…
Osho Lovianhal friends,
-e-
Question for you: What do you do when you feel stressed and maybe on the brink of burn out? What top 3 things do you wish you could change about how you feel? Ever tried and completed a cleanse? How’d that go? Did you meet your doppelganger?