Yes. It’s Friday night. The only thing uncool about it being Friday night is that I am so completely horny…again (or, as usual–whichever). I think my lower body is starting to hurt. (Yeah, yeah,..purple plastic prince.) Anyway (for now). Is it agreed that there is nothing worse than starting to like somebody and realizing that you might could want to do the hell out of them, but knowing that it is imperative to wait for it, because if you get into the sex part too early, the rest of the relationship may be doomed?
The alternative to this is, of course, waiting a considerable amount of time before having sex and then you’re all in and invested and the sex sucks. *super duper sized sigh*.
We’ve already established in a previous post my feelings on sucky sex. If you missed it, feel free to peruse the title : Sex (or lack there of) in the City. Kay.
So, you’re wondering what in the hell all of this TMI is about. Sure, it could simply be my signature randomness. But then again, my relational life could be getting interesting for once in the life of this blog. That’s right, make fun of me if you must. I know every reality show requires at least one inappropriate sex scene by total strangers, and I’ve had none to report. And still…I have none to report. Deal with it.
Admittedly, I’m reluctant to actually make any actual accountings on the potential changes in my pending love life because although I’m not into the whatever it is that causes grown people not to want to “jinx” the things they do—I’m trying to keep mum, cause I don’t want to do just that. My friend “Shay” says: “share not your dreams with those who share not your dreams.” I’ll call it for now: “I don’t know yet”.
He and I have had the discussion about how and when he would end up in my blog and particularly about whether I will give full disclosure on how we met. I was completely honest when I told him that I wasn’t sure and that I would probably lie.
Considering that I’m a horrible liar, I’ll just leave out certain details in this and future posts, until I’m ready to do a full frontal on the subject. In which case, you’ll probably be over it anyway and it won’t matter much at all will it?
So I met this guy. I can’t remember where (lying). We’ve done the e-mail and phone thing. We get along swimmingly. He’s the right age, height, mental capacity and what not. Loves kids, loves to read, is kindof a dork like me, likes to do some of the things I like to do, gives great brain (as in conversation), and is not at all commitment phobic. I can not find anything wrong with “Mr. Gotcha” in the slightest upon first and second perusal. What? Carrie had Mr. Big. I’ve got Mr. Gotcha. Deal with it.
So Mr. Gotcha and I have not as of yet done the face to face thing yet. He’s asked me, and I told him yes, but I’ve been very vague and ify about setting a go see in stone. I was honest with him when I said I was procrastinating. He was brilliant to ask me why I was procrastinating. My honest answer was that old habits die hard and I am always reluctant at taking relationships to their natural next steps as they happen. I’ll create the steps, even if they’re not at all natural. So we’ve e-mailed–great times, which led to phone calls—great times–which leads to what class? Yes, an actual date, which we all hope will continue to be great times, right?
We girls know how it is (and guys too) to feel those pangs of past relationship fear when we meet someone new. We may have no baggage to speak of that has gone unpacked for months or years and still, allowing a new relationship to do what it does, as it does can be the most complicated thing for us to do.
Of course we do it to protect ourselves and maybe our children. Of course we do it to allow breathing time between rational and completely irrational behavior. Of course we do it to just make sure.
I have been single for 3 years and I will admit that being single suits me. I have a big, vibrant mouth and a full(ish) disclosure writing game. I’ve picked the most invasive career anyone could pick and yet, I still believe I am worthy and capable of giving it another go—with the right guy.
The fact that he gets all these things (because we’ve talked about them) and has not yet given me the “yeah, uh huh, okaaaaay. Well… it was nice talking to you…” yet is amazing at best. I think I’ve even been extra honest and extra vibrant and extra everything just to see if he’ll run for the hills. Rock solid still. Either this guy is Job or is just turned all the way on by crazy people.. Either way, I may actually be procrastinating NOT to save me from him. It may actually be to save him from me.
With that in mind, Mr. Gotcha and I have a tentative date set for tomorrow. I have no choice but to keep you posted…
The moral of this story? Come on. You know full well there ain’t one. Just some food for thought. Thank you for reading this though. Peace and Blessings! –e-