–Allow me to be blunt. Lying on facebook is whack. I mean, I get it. If you’re 15 and have no friends and think it’s cool to be a gang banger in order to attract people who think “gang banging” is cool, plus, Lil Wayne is your idol (even though you’re like 10 heads taller than him)–it almost makes sense for you to post “gang banging” nonsense on your FB page to accomplish your “friend” getting goal. Of course, when you get caught, your uncle will probably beat you (with a belt) by way of your web cam, tell you to renig your treacherous lie to all of your new “friends” and then make you post said beating on your wall for good measure. Mission Accomplished. I guess. I wish I could find that video again. It would go perfect with this post, but Youtube removed it and I have no idea why. It ices my point like a 5 tier wedding cake.
And so, we’re back to my original sentiment. Lying on FB is whack. It gets whacker when you’re in your mid 30’s, have children and a varied array of people who actually know that you don’t live, nor are you from Atlanta and that you don’t speak 19 languages fluently and that Lamborghini you claim you just bought was the model at the car show and that bling you’re wearing is from your grandmother’s costume jewelery collection circa 1956.
It’s a complicated irony to view pages of folk I know I just walked past in the mall–got the “heeey girl!”, the hug and everything– whilst their latest post is that they’re on a plane jet setting it to L.A. to open for Dr. Dre. Really? That’s the trouble with FB BS(read: facebook bull shit). If you’re local and most of your FB friends are local and you telling really biiiiiiiig un truths, somebody is bound to catch a wiff of the smell. And quite frankly, it stinks. A lot. Like you blew a pipe in the bathroom in the middle of summer and the whole block smells a hot awful nasty mess.
I’m often perplexed by the need and notion for us to want to be any and everything but ourselves. So what if you pack boxes for a living. It’s honest work and hell–you’ve got a job. A LOT of folk in this country and around the world “envy” your good fortune right now. Why must you tell people that you’re an engineer at IBM? Particularly if you were never an engineer at IBM. Nor do you have your G.E.D. just yet. Nor do you have the slightest clue what IBM stands for. It’s a stretch, yes, but I know you know where I’m going with this.
We’ve all heard the term “fake it until you make it.” It’s a term first made popular by positive thinking types and psychologists who suggested “faking it” as a technique to bolster confidence. According to David Brandt of “Fake it Until You Make It” fame (?) The idea is to “act as if” “to avoid getting stuck in a self fulfilling prophecy related to one’s fear of not being confident”. Alcoholics Anonymous uses the concept for treatment, as do therapists of every sort. I first heard the phrase in college… a lot. It’s actually a well used (and practiced) term in the entertainment industry in particular……………. Run with that one, I’m not going there today.
I think the problem comes in when the “fake it” part faaaaaaaaaaaaar out weighs the “make it” part. I mean, it’s one thing to have a dream that some day you’ll be the world’s greatest and beloved rocket scientist–while lugging around your 532 rocket science books whilst in your 19th year of advanced education. It’s something else to SAY you’re the world’s greatest and beloved rocket scientist and you haven’t so much as signed up for a science class at community college. In fact, you even said out loud once that you HAYYYYYTE science. I’m just saying. There has to be a line we draw on the proverbial basketball court between acting “as if” and just looking foolish.
I bring this up because I have an acquaintance who is constantly bragging on FB about how he’s this and he’s doing that and jetting out to this place and he’s just coming back from that place. He just signed this deal and he plays for this or that team (as a walk on of all things) and he’s a katrillionaire now because he just signed to this record label and his album (that nobody can buy) just went diamond and he thanks his FB “friends” for all their love and supporting his career and what not. Meanwhile, I have it on awesome authority that none of those things he’s posting is even a pearl of a seed near to being true. One time (at band camp) I told a mutual friend of ours how great it was that “so and so” finally got his ish together and was doing “blah, blah, and blah”. Our friend rolled her eyes at me and said blankly, “girl please.” She then went on to explain what it really was and I felt really naive and stupid. I hate feeling naive and stupid. So I unfriended him. It’s awkward to root for somebody’s success and they don’t think enough of themselves to actually work toward it. They’d rather sit on their cushy behinds and brag on FB about whatever it is so everybody else can think highly of them.
What’s so silly about the above scenario–while blatantly embellished on my part– is that particularly when you’re an entertainer of any sort, people want to root for you. People really in their heart of hearts want to see you win because it gives them hope and a nugget of optimism that if you can live your dream, they can work hard and find a way to live theirs too. But if all you’re giving them is “watermelon tales” as DL Hughley said to me once, you’re building people’s admiration on a foundation of bullshit. Ever tried to build a castle on bullshit? I haven’t either, but I’m sure it’s messy… and hellified stinky. What do you think will happen to all those accolades and support and “friends” when folk find out they were rooting for a lying asshole? Um… I mean, besides, unfriend you? #messy-er-er-er
I get it. We all have a need to be impressive. We all to some degree want to be liked and adored. We all want the world to THINK we’re awesome. We all want the world of FB to think we look exactly as we did 10 years ago, particularly if we gained 200 pounds since then. I wonder though, wouldn’t it be more gratifying if we actually WERE awesome enough for people to actually KNOW we’re awesome? To get to SEE our awesomeness with their own eyes? Wouldn’t it be amazing to know that people love and adore us for who we actually are and not who we want them to THINK we are (and not by way of that 10 year old picture we keep up for no logical reason)???
We all have a specific place to fill in this universe. We all have a talent we were born to share. We all have so much awesome going on in us, it seems a shame to spend so much time talking about what’s not actually there, than to put that same energy into being what we actually can be–what we’re designed to be–what could be there if we simply put some effort into it. Doesn’t it? Meanwhile, this “fake it INSTEAD OF making it” mentality prevails. I see it everywhere. It’s a train wreck to watch perfectly decent people trying so hard to be everything that they’re not and missing every opportunity presented to them to live and be who they are.
I’m not writing this post to call anybody out or blow up anybody’s spot. That’s not my goal here. I mean, if reading this post is pissing you off right now–everything you’re reading is all about you. Don’t shoot the messenger.
Admittedly, there is one person I have in mind specifically as I type these keys. I literally want to climb on top of a really tall building with the loudest megaphone in the world and scream at the top of my lungs “DUDE! YOU’RE ALREADY UBER TALENTED! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS STOP BEING FULL OF SHIT AND GET TO WORK! PEOPLE WILL ACTUALLY SUPPORT YOU! STOP FAKING IT AND YOU’LL ACTUALLY MAKE IT!”
But no. I don’t. I can’t. It’s none of my business. Besides, I’ve already tried in so many delicate, ego stroking as well as loud, exasperated ways over the course of many, many years to get through to this person. The truth is, there are some people who would rather people think they’re awesome than actually be awesome. There’s a reason why people say that the folk who brag the loudest, most likely have the least going on. Or, as my friend D Ray says, “the empty wagon makes the most noise”. I digress.
Why do I care, you may be asking yourself? I don’t rightly know. It’s a passion of mine to inspire people to live their most awesome lives and be their most awesome selves. It’s my goal to use my own life as an example. I’m in no ways perfect. Nor am I where I see myself in my head. Yet. I’ve done a few things here and there. Some of those things can be misconstrued as impressive, but I feel like, if I have to tell YOU about them, I’m not there yet. When folks can tell ME what I’ve been up to–I’m probably closer.
With that sentiment, it’s through this “reality show-esque” blog that I find ways to see the awesome in every single scenario I’m faced with– I hold no punches. Even if the scenario sucks. I figure, if I dig deep enough into the things that give me pause and pleasure on this adventure my life is, maybe there’s some brick dust of inspiration for somebody to make bricks with to build their own awesomeness with. I keep it very (and almost too) real.
The key here is, whether I fly or flail, I’m me. Whether you love me or can’t stand me–I’m still going to be me. Whether you’ve read every single one of my blog posts through the past 2+ years or never, ever so much as read a question mark on http://www.envymckeeshow.com/ –I’m still me. Being me is the only thing I have to face this world with and I’d rather that the world see me as I am and not somebody I made up so they’ll like me. But maybe that’s just me…
The moral of this story. Um… let me think….eh… nope. nada. Thank you for reading this though. Peace and Abundant “please be yourself, it’s so much easier, I promise” blessings! Love, -e-
Remember Ren and Ten “The Hip Hop Dalmations”? From Brown Sugar? Yeah….