Trust me when I say, I am NOT a hater. If Match.com worked for you in your plight of finding true love, consider this a standing ovation. Like I am now raised out of my office chair whistling and clapping like I’m at a sold out Roots performance. I am totally clapping for you and totally NOT clapping for me.
The first time I joined match was several years ago, when ‘the ex’ and I first ended up in the fray. I quickly renigged on my membership because most of the male people who found interest in me were at least 20 years my senior and all seemed to be looking to fix their latent taste for “brown suger”. Ilk.
The second time I joined match was a year ago, and while my experience was a little better, I discovered that the quality of male people joining was, I dunno. Sucky.
I joined match for the third time two months ago, because I’m a glutton for undue torture, but mostly because I had far worse luck on e-harmony.com and a few of the other matching sites that suck in their own ways.
For example, e-harmony brags about matching folks on 9,730,000 key personality traits that have very little to do with physical attractiveness. Color me shallow, but… okay. I’m shallow.
For whatever reason, I keep coming back to Match. Maybe because they have all these cool commercials and leave one with the impression that every day, somebody cute may be joining. Yeah…well.
I actually went out on a date with a guy who was kindof cute and was in my age range and was nice enough. He just wasn’t for me. I then met up with a guy who was super cute, he was just three full heads shorter than me in my bare feet–and I’m not that tall. This one guy I met on Match decided he wanted to text me for three weeks. We’ve never met. He’s never placed a call to me to talk in person. He’s never asked me out. Every now and again, he texts and by now, I ignore him. (sigh).
One might be inclined to say that I should feel lucky that at least I have a few dating prospects and should I feel the slight tinge of single woman desperation, at least I can wink back at someone who has taken the time to wink at me from the comfort of their own computer chair. Or respond to one of the 750 e-mails I’ve received over the course of the last 2 months (no exaggeration). That would be something, wouldn’t it?
Part of my problem, I think, is that I’m looking for something specific. That something doesn’t have a specific complexion or ethnicity. He doesn’t have a specific hair or eye color. He’s not a specific height, although if I feel like a giant standing next to you in my Uggs–uh. No thanks. There again, color me shallow all you want. I like tall. At least taller than Chelsea Handler’s assistant. I can admit that I have no idea what my dream man looks like. I think I’ll know him when I see him. Of course, Boris Kodjoe is taken and that sucks.
The point of all this is that I’m beginning to believe that I’m not really in the running of meeting my dream man on match. There are quite a few chaps on match who seem to believe they are or should at least be considered top contenders in the Envy McKee dream man category. I don’t see it. What can I say, we’ve already discovered how shallow I am.
I’m actually beginning to believe that my dream man may pop up somewhere unexpected, when I’m looking a hot mess–like in the supermarket or at the studio working on my show. (is that a hint that I met somebody? maybe…) One thing is for sure, Mr. Could Be Almost Kindof My Dream Guy is definately not on Match. I wonder if I can get my money back…Again.
As ususal, there is no moral to this story. Just some food for thought. Thank you for reading this though. If you’re looking for someone special…good luck with that? He’s probably not on Match–sorry. I salute the divinity in you! Peace and happy love hunting! -e-