Ahhhh. The ex. The entire reason why “it’s complicated” is an option on facebook. Exes can make you crazy… or not. The two of you can have an understanding…or not. You can still love the shit out of them but can’t stand to be around them. You can have kids together or wonder why you ever imagined having kids with “that fool”.
Yes, exes are complicated aren’t they? Yet, no matter your experience with your most significant exes, the fact remains…you were at one point together and most likely in love. Yes, there was a reason you were attracted to the past person in your life to begin with. AND there was a reason why they are now your ex. Insert your reason here__________. Okay.
I bring this up because of my kindof recent Youtube find: B. Scott. OMG! If you’ve never heard of B. Scott, you are truly missing out. Yes, he’s androgenous. Yes, he’s quirky and fun and so funny to me. You may not get into him, but I think he’s a gem. Look him up when you have time.
Okay so B. Scott posted a video blog about running into one his more significant exes. Ooooooo honey! He let him have it. Talking all this mess about how there’s a reason dude’s his ex. Don’t come stalking him at his house and what not.
Funny to me how I looked right through all of that chit chat and saw a man who was hurt deeply by a former lover. Probably still somebody he’s loving in his spirit, but can’t admit it out loud for pride’s sake.
We’ve all been through it, haven’t we? We fall in love with somebody who breaks our hearts into a million little pieces. We patch together all those pieces and then tether our hearts to us on a very short string. You know– to keep it from floating away from us that way again. No matter how we may have moved on though, that love is still significant to us. It may not have been right for us at the time, but it still was.
I’ve been having a change of heart toward one of my more significant exes lately. I’ve been very hard on him for hurting me. I admit that. And even though I’ve moved on and he’s moved on, I’ve realized that all my pent up whatever it is was–is really my “you WILL not hurt me again” protection mechanism in action. And my girly way of making him pay–don’t judge me. It is what it is.
Iyanla Vanzant is somewhat famous for saying: “relationships come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” We don’t always know which one it is at the time. It may take years after the big break up to realize that the two of you are actually a lifetime love that just needed some time apart to mature and grow and make sense out of everything. To maybe learn a few new tricks or whatever. Sometimes we may never know what the reason we ever got together was, sometimes the season is “Thank God!” that’s past.
Am I saying I’m running back to my ex? Oh Hell no! Not today at least, if I can help it. What I’m really saying is that it’s so much better for the true healing process to embrace the love you once felt and maybe still feel. Pride be damned!
I’ve learned from my experience that if you surrender to it, accept it, nurture it as a part of you that always will be–you can finally unpack all of that baggage that’s been holding you down and soar into whatever is coming next. Being mindful that true love, never dies–it evolves into something greater in you. At least, that’s what I’m hoping.
The moral to this story? As usual, none to be found here. Just some food for thought. Thank you for reading this though. Peace and many LOVING blessings. -e-