The Tale of Princess Toffee and Prince Caramel Chocolate Mocha Swirl

Once upon a time there was a fairy princess named Toffee. Princess Toffee liked to eat Toffees and sing about Toffees and do little dances to songs she heard on the radio–particularly the ones about Toffees. Princess Toffee spent hours and hours in front of her wide screen television watching the most entertaining shows–you guessed it–about Toffees. One day, Princess Toffee’s father, The King, announced that a Prince was coming to town to visit. His name: Prince Caramel Chocolate Mocha Swirl.

 

Well, Princess Toffee thought his name ridiculous! What kind of name is Caramel Chocolate Mocha Swirl? Considering that Princess Toffee only liked to watch Toffee programming and listen to Toffee music, she was instantly turned off by the thought that maybe Prince Caramel Chocolate Mocha Swirl would only want to hear Caramel Chocolate Mocha Swirl music and watch only Caramel Chocolate Mocha Swirl programs on her wide screen television. The thought of such things made Princess Toffee sick to her stomach. She told her father, The King–who had just trudged up countess stairs to give his daughter the news– she refused to have an audience with Prince Caramel Chocolate Mocha Swirl.

 

Her father, The King, looked saddened. He began to walk out of Princess Toffee’s elaborately dressed room without a word, but thought better of it. He turned instead and asked his daughter the obvious question. “Why, my dear do you refuse to see the Prince?”

 

Princess Toffee replied matter of factly, “because he makes me sick”.

 

The King, confused, replied, “But you’ve never met him. How can he make you sick?”

 

The Princess, almost horrified that her father, The King, would question her answer replied, ” Do I have to have a reason to believe somebody makes me sick? I know I’ve never met him Father. I just know what I know. It’s better that I say this before I’ve met him and cause us all a lot of unwarranted heartache. Trust me won’t you daddy?”

 

The King, feeling a bit foolhardy, shrugged his shoulders at his beloved Princess Toffee, gave her a knowing fatherly half-smile and walked out of the room without saying another word.

 

His wife, The Queen, was a bit more dramatic about their daughter’s refusing the see Prince Caramel Chocolate Mocha Swirl. “How dare she refuse to see a Prince? Doesn’t she know that by royal decree a fairy princess must marry a Prince or better? Does she not know that by refusing to see Prince Caramel Chocolate Mocha Swirl, word would get out and aaaalllll the other Princes in the land will think her a silly shrew who is unfit to wed?”

 

The King chuckled. “My dear”, he began. “Princess Toffee is just a girl… So what that she doesn’t want to see this Prince. She may even refuse to see any others that come a long. Who knows, maybe she’ll like a Knight or the royal jester or gardener(The Queen shivered at the thought). Whatever the case, it’s her life. If she wants to live it in her elaborately decorated room, listening to Toffee music and watching her Toffee programs in front of her wide screen TV, that’s her prerogative. Who am I to tell her that what I think is best for her is actually so.”

 

The Queen was livid. “Who are YOU?! You are her father! And the King of this Kingdom! Princess Toffee has no right to ruin what we have worked so hard to provide for her. March up those steps right this second and tell that girl that she WILL in fact meet Prince Caramel Chocolate Mocha Swirl and she will enjoy every second of it and she will marry him and that’s final!”

 

The King, feeling a bit henpecked by his wife, The Queen, obliged his doting wife. He did as he was told, walked up the countless steps to his daughters room and knocked. No answer. He knocked again. No answer. He opened the door and to his astonishment, found a note from his beloved daughter, Princess Toffee.

 

The note read the following:

 

“Dear Daddy (and mother), I have decided to run away. I’ve run away because my life is a bore. I do nothing but sit in my elaborately decorated room and listen to Toffee music and watch my Toffee programs on my wide screen TV and daddy, I’ve decided that my life should be much more than it is. I want to see the world a bit. I’ve decided that if my Prince is coming, his name more than likely won’t be Prince Caramel Chocolate Mocha Swirl–honestly, who but a bunch of freaks would name their son PRINCE Caramel Chocolate Mocha Swirl? Aaaand I most likely won’t meet my Prince as a Princess-in-wait in my parents’ castle. And so, I’ve decided to go backpacking around the world with friends. See ya soon!”

 

Love,

 

Princess Toffee

 

 

So The King, horrified, trudged back down the countless steps he had just trudged up to show his wife, The Queen, the note left by their daughter, Princess Toffee.

 

After reading the note, the Queen only smirked. After a moment, she looked up at her husband, The King, and instead of yelling his head off about what would be deemed as his fault, The Queen said somewhat matter-of-factly, “Lucky Girl”.

 

The End.

 

The moral of this story? I dunno. What do you think it is? Love, -e-