Ever watch “Meet The Robinsons”? Yeah, it’s a Disney movie about a little spikey haired genius inventor who creates a memory scanner thingy. Of course, he doesn’t know he’s a genius. He thinks everything he’s ever done is a complete and utter failure. It’s not until he travels to the future in the time machine that he invented as an adult– that he comes to realize how his inventions helped to frame the whole course of human existence. In the present, as a spikey haired kid, he thinks he and his life sucks rocks.
I’m having one of those days. It’s hard for me to see my future for all the sucky-ness going on all around me.
It’s so hard to push through on the bad days to the next day in hopes that the next day would be a better day because the current day sucks so very much. It is what it is though. We literally have two choices. Give up or keep moving forward. Give up up or plug along no matter what it looks like. Give up or continue on. I’ve said this before. I would give up, except I haven’t any alternative but to keep going. I’ve invested everything I have physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and professionally in my current endeavor. Some folks in the squad ain’t living up to their part of the bargain and while it makes sense to blame the lot on them, I have to take ownership because at the end of the day, my success or failure is entirely up to me.
I know I’m not being specific because the particulars aren’t nearly as important as the outcome of this whole thing. The outcome is that I’ve got to learn a few new skills and put on a few more hats than I have room for on my head to keep my special project afloat. It I choose not to do what’s necessary–I lose all. If I just do what needs to be done, I could still fall flat on my face, but at least I’m doing everything I can possibly do to see to it the work gets done. (sigh).
I was grumpy all day knowing exactly who to blame and realizing my powerlessnes to get any of the time or effort back that’s been lost. I was so frustrated! Why should I being doing my work and their work too?! I suck at what they do, that’s why they’re supposed to do it, right?! Then I started pondering all the setbacks and denials and door slams. Then I started doubting myself and my talent. OMG! Maybe I’m not even doing what I’m designed to do. Maybe I’m so way out of my league! Maybe all this is happening because I really truly do suck!
Then a friend of mine reminded me of all the things I had already accomplished on a penny and a prayer. I told him my past accomplishments were irrelevant. “The things I did then only got me here, but they won’t get me there”, I said. He reminded me that everything I had done in the past has made me the person I am today, which is very relevant. He was basically saying, if I could do all that I’ve done (not having a clue what I was doing), I can do all that I’m doing now and anything else I want to do, if I’d just buckle down and do it already! And stop worrying about sucking so much. Hmm.
I mean, everything is hard and utterly disappointing in the beginning until one gets really good at it and then it’s no longer hard and utterly disappointing, right? Which reminds me again of Meet The Robinsons. It turns out this one little invention by this little spikey haired orphan literally changed the world. Sure, it was just a movie, but it played on the strengths of so many people I’ve admired my whole life–W.E.B. DuBois; Harriet Tubman; Che Guevara; Malcolm X; Martin Luther King; Gandhi; Mother Theresa; Oprah Winfrey; and Barack Obama–to name a few. Every last one of these folks started their journey on one path and ended up somewhere totally different, having to put on all kinds of hats that may not have suited them in the beginning.
Am I comparing myself to these people? Absolutely not. But I am– as are you– a part of their legacy. Okay, yeah. The going can get really, really, really tough. And when it does, by design, the tough must keep it going. Anyway. We must begin where we are to get where we’re designed to go. If we had a time machine, we’d probably get a chance to see all the lives we’ve helped change along the way. But in the present, we just have to believe that we don’t really suck as much as we think we do (hopefully) and all our hard work IS worthwhile for somebody…little wonders even.
The moral of this story? As usual, I haven’t one. Just some food for thought. I thank you for reading this though. Peace and many blessings…and Keep Moving Forward! -e-