For the Love…

Jerome Carter was my friend. Like most of my bestest friends, we didn’t need to talk every day, but when we did talk it was like we had had spoken every single day prior.

 

I found out yesterday that Jerome died on Monday. It was weird because his sister called me from Atlanta to tell me he passed via motorcycle accident and I’ve been reeling ever since. I guess the weird part was that I have never met his sister. I didn’t even know Jerome had a sister, but he told her about me and that’s all the more touching.

 

I’m a “life” person. I spend so much of my day and time working toward my ideal life and the ideal life for Aubrei, I hardly take a moment to think about or even ponder death at all. I honor the cycle of life, but I don’t put a whole lot of energy toward it. Particularly death. What you focus on you find, right? Why spend time on death when you’re living, right?

 

So to get that phone call from Jerome’s sister was like hitting a brick wall for me. My mouth gaped open. I was literally dumbfounded. The first thing I did was call Michael Shawn. He was just as dumbfounded as I. “no shit.”, was all he could say. I was thinking the same thing, quite frankly.

 

Here’s the thing. For those of you who don’t know of Jerome Carter, he was a WORLD renowned numerologist. Do you understand what that means???? Jerome Carter was paid very well to consult celebrities, heads of state, big heads, corporations, and otherwise important people about their futures through numbers. He was not a psychic. Jerome was a numbers guy. He believed that numbers were the key to a lot of our universal understanding and by understanding the vibrations of numbers, one could know everything one needed to know to wade through some of our mess and into our brightest lives possible.

 

Jerome foretold Aubrei’s arrival before I knew Aubrei was in my belly. He knew my hair was red (back in the day when my hair was red), before he ever saw me. He told Michael Shawn he was to be fired 6 months before he was fired. He warned me about people in my life, he counseled me on my next career moves. Jerome did for me what he’s done for countless folk that you know the names of. And countless more we may never know. He may have even counseled you. forreal. Jerome was that dude.

 

A lot of times Jerome said some things and I was all too vocal in letting him know he had no idea what he was talking about. Listening back at the tapes of our conversations he sent me, I’d begrudgingly “be damned” that everything he said had come to pass. He once saved his own life when he was to meet with an agent at the World Trade Center. It was the morning those planes flew into them. He casually called the agent and told him to meet him across town, he didn’t say why. Several hours later, he and the agent knew exactly why.

 

Jerome had an amazing gift and he shared it with so many people. I think what is dumbfounding me is how he could not foresee with his numbers for himself what he could for countless people who have grown to love and admire him. How could he not see his death when getting on that motorcycle? How could he not know danger in his own future? How could the numbers be so clear for me and so murky for him? I just can’t seem to make any sense out of it.

 

Jerome and I had just talked last week and he had planned to do a reading for me, but there was some sort of computer glitch that happened, so we didn’t speak again last week. He was scheduled to be on my show this past Wednesday, but my own schedule got crazy, so I cancelled it, but hadn’t spoken to him. I didn’t think anything of it until that call came the next day. I’m shaking my head now, because I still can’t believe it. Or maybe I just don’t want to.

 

The last time I dealt with an extremely painful death was my Pop-pop–at least 12 years ago. Devastated doesn’t even cover what I went through then. My life was forever changed. I was a ‘drug rep’ for a pharma company at the time, and I hated that job with a passion. It was nothing work, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do. Honey, THE day I cried my last tear for my pop-pop, I was actively working on my singing career and never looked back. I was do or die in the entertainment biz from that point forth. Life became far too short for me at twenty something and I didn’t want to miss a day.

 

So here I am now. Jerome wasn’t family exactly. We were friends, but we didn’t know each other long. He was a definitive source of encouragement–he was so quick to tell me how proud he was of me and he always saw the richest future I sometimes couldn’t see for myself. He could literally see past everything I had going on, and through to everything I will do. He told me often: “patience and divine prayer”. It took me a while to Wade through my own stuff, but ‘I heard him. It took exactly patience and divine prayer.

 

Do you want to hear the clincher? Around the same time Jerome’s sister was leaving a message on my voicemail, I was at Aubrei’s Back to School Night listening to Aubrei’s teacher, Miss Lyndsey, read Aubrei’s very first poetic work:

 

“I run away like birds. I run away because I run away. I run away to the birds. Then I’m running. Then I walk. I am a bird and I have wings. Then I sing a lullaby. I like pink. And I like chicken.”

 

I can’t say for sure if my little three year old is prophetic or not. I was dumbfounded when I heard her words without knowing of my friend’s passing. After reading them again today, I am even more so. Especially since Jerome was the one who foretold her coming to begin with.

 

What I can say for sure is that I try to honor those who pass on by finding new vigor in the pursuit of my today–my dreams, goal and aspirations. I also do this by encouraging others to do the same. I honor the dead, by honoring my life, life in general and by finding renewed faith in the universal good we all share.

 

The cycle of life–birth, trial, triumph, pursuit, attainment, atonement, death, and whatever happens to our energy when we’re released from our shells–is all a matter of change. Change is the constant of life, and by definition, is a matter of our evolution. Our evolution is connected to the discovery that we are all interconnected in both subtle and profound ways.

 

Forgive my prose is this post. I am a poet at heart. My purpose, however, in sharing all of this with you is both to move toward the healing process for myself and to honor my friend’s passing energy, by honoring yours in this living realm. It is for this purpose I say unto you:

 

Today is your day. You are great! Your greatness is what connects us and by fulfilling your destiny and manifesting your dreams you add divine love energy to the collective. Waste not this day. Take this day and do to it your bidding. Social Change is your charge! You were not put on this Earth to fit in. You were put here to stand out! Be big! Be Bold! Be you! For the love…of all life.

 

The moral of this story? Tonight, I actually have one: honor the dead, by honoring YOUR life. I salute the divinity in you. Be ye blessed and thank you for reading this. -e-