I’ve decided, officially, that being single is starting to suck. I mean, it does suck and I’m cool with it sucking and I’m doing every single thing in my power to have my FB status changed from “single” to at minimum, “it’s complicated” in the next few weeks, if I can help it.
Seriously, when I first started writing about my life in this blog, I was all “go girl” about being a sexy, single mother on the move. Now that my unique brand of reality-esque foolishness is starting to catch on, I’m like the poster child for being single and I don’t know how much I’m liking it. I mean I do. I like attention, you know this. I wouldn’t be in “the biz” if I didn’t but jeez, lawd.
Okay, so now you’re wondering why I’m hell bent on not being single anymore, besides the lack of “back shots” in my life. Well, besides the all important “back shots”, people are starting to shake their heads at me like I have a disease and it’s called “single in my thirties”.
With that in mind, earlier today, I had a reeeeally long conversation with somebody who seemed interested in me and my love life in general. The conversation consisted of talking for an hour and a half about my career, my accomplishments, my failed love life, my optimism about finding someone to share my life with and the dating scene in Philly. It’s all fun and games until you find tears welling up when a perfectly acceptable question is asked like: “Are you jaded by love?” O.M.G.
It took me a minute to really sort everything out in honest terms. Am I jaded by love because the love of my life turned out to be a dud? I answered honestly. I was. It literally took me all three of these years to sort through everything, make peace with it all and move on to this point–being ready for a love life and not being able to find one anywhere. And so now, I’m not jaded anymore. Hoo-rah.
I know you get it that I’m a go-getter. And one may assume that whatever I put my mind to, I make happen right? Okay so, being in love is not exactly something one can force, fake or make happen just by nature of wanting it to. Meeting “the one”, I’m beginning to think is kind of a numbers game. He’s out there, but he and I have yet to make the divine connection? Finding him takes putting one’s self out there and being receptive, going on a million dates and talking to a million people, looking past my type and taking chances and what not. Who has time for that??????
And so, I’m trying different things. For example, tomorrow (Thursday, July 30, 2009) I’m trying speed dating at Ms. Tootsie’s 9p-1a. In case you have no rightly idea what speed dating is, it’s when a whole bunch of people get in a room. Everybody gets a number. Each lady gets her own table and the guys in the room go from table to table in organized fashion and have 6-8 minutes to answer questions and spit their best game. It’s like musical chairs, except, it’s not. If a girl likes a guy, she writes down his number on her card. If a guy likes a girl he writes her number on his card. At the end of the event, the people who like each other mutually get an e-mail that says so and so likes you and you like him, so here are your e-mail addresses—go with God. It sounds complicated, but that’s probably because I don’t have a PhD in explaining speed dating yet. My bad. Anyway, it’s got to be better than Match. I think getting a root canal is better than Match. I think spending the night in a mud puddle would be better than Match. There’s booze, music, tables and if you don’t like somebody who wants to chat you up–it’ll all be over in 6-8 minutes. *ding, next.* Plus, I hear speed dating is hella fun. It’s literally a party with a purpose. Works for me.
By golly, I’ve put my foot in this “not being single anymore” thing and I’ll be damned if I spend another birthday or major holiday that I actually care about without a male person to lavish me with presents. I’m sort of kidding. More importantly, I believe, my major goal is to evolve past being a sexy single and on to whatever comes next. Hoo-rah. In the meantime, I’ll keep you posted.
The moral of this story? No idea. Just some food for thought. Thank you for reading this though. Peace and abundant “I’m trying different things!” blessings. -e-
P.S. IF you’re single and want to mingle, I’ll be at Ms. Tootsie’s tomorrow night from 9p-1a. Say my secret password “33” at the door. Thanks!!!
Ms. Tootsie’s:
1314 South St
Philadelphia 19147
(Btwn S Broad St & S 13th St)